


Remember me?

by The Coolest Pirate (Blodeuwedd)



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-16
Updated: 2012-07-23
Packaged: 2017-11-10 01:49:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 19,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/460912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blodeuwedd/pseuds/The%20Coolest%20Pirate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt suffers an accident and loses his memory - the last thing he remembers is being a teenage boy, but now he has a perfect job, a perfect house and a perfect husband! Or are they?<br/>Rating - NC-17<br/>Genre - Romance, Comedy, sligthly angsty<br/>Pairing - Kurtofsky, Klaine (not in a very good light), Kurtcedes friendship - Not Blaine friendly!<br/>Warnings - Slash (obviously), oral sex, rimming, barebacking, slight voyeurism, threesome (sort of)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Author's note: this story is based on a book with the same title by Sophie Kinsella, which is a chiclit, pretty much written romcom, sort of book - that's the mood for the fic as well. I want to thank Katie for being am amazing beta, doing the art and even putting together a playlist! 
> 
>  
> 
> _Kurt's thoughts_  
>  ** _Kurt's memories or dreams_**

# Prologue

 

Some days were horrible from the start; like today. Today he forgot to turn up the volume on his alarm clock so he wasn’t able to hear it when it was time for him to wake up, which made him late for school. He got dressed in a hurry, which he absolutely hated – at least he had prepared his outfit the night before. He gulped down a cup of coffee and drove to school as fast as he could in the downpour of rain that was falling over Lima. He arrived just in time, but, much to his dismay, his first class consisted of a surprise Trigonometry test that he had neither studied nor prepared for. Later, at lunch time, one of the jocks threw a slushie at him, which completely ruined his meticulously chosen outfit (luckily, he always carried spare clothes in his car). Now, Coach Tanaka had him running laps while the other students in the class lazily threw a football around. Not that Kurt envied them, but the grass was still wet from that morning’s rain, and the damp soil beneath it was squishing with every step he took. Small holes had formed in the precariously-cared-for field and he tripped twice, the second time actually falling on all fours, which resulted in not only dirtying his knees, scraping his hands, and breaking a nail, but also in a sonorous round of laughter among some of the other boys.

_Ugh! Great! What else?_

He barely registered the sound of his name being shouted by Finn before everything went black.


	2. Chapter 1

# Chapter 1

 

His head is sore. _Very_ sore. Who knew being hit by a football could hurt this much? Finn was right: He really should have been wearing a helmet. If only that thing didn’t mess with his hair so much!

_Ugh! SO SORE!_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

His head is sore. Still sore, but not nearly as much as it was before. Maybe someone had given him something to help ease the pain. If only he could open his eyes and be sure he was in the school’s infirmary. He tries opening them slowly, but they are heavy. So _heavy_ …

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

His head is better now. There is a slight pounding on the left side, but it is a lot better than the splitting pain he once felt. He tries opening his eyes slowly and finds out it’s not as difficult as it once was. He squints against the light, blinking a few times to allow his eyes to adjust. He’s in a small room—dimly lit despite his eyes’ protest—with a door right in front of the bed he’s lying on and another one to his right. Also to his right is a small couch and a chair, both unoccupied. Right next to his bed is a bedside table, containing nothing but a lamp and some monitors, the beeping in synchrony with his heart.

 _A hospital? Was it_ that _bad?_

He notices he has all sorts of cables attached to his body, but not enough to restrain his movements – _much_. He sits up carefully, wincing as his headache worsens with the movement. Whatever they gave him before, he needs more. He looks around for a button to call a nurse, but there’s only a green bell sign on the bedside table. He tentatively touches it and watches as it lits up.

_Touch screen? That’s high-tech! I guess it’s been a long time since I’ve been in a hospital. Can’t complain about that, though._

The door opens and a woman in a hospital uniform walks in. She’s very short and thin, her dark skin nearly concealing the few wrinkles she has on the corner of her mouth and her gentle eyes. She smiles at him, and he decides he likes her right away.

“Hello, I’m Julia. I’m glad to see you’re awake. How do you feel?”

“Hi.” His voice sounds low and raspy in his ears.  He coughs and tries again. “Hi.” Not much better. “Can I get some water, please? And something for my head? It really hurts.”

“Sure. I’ll be right back with some.”

“Thanks. And… Could you tell my dad I’m awake?”

“Of course. He’s been here nearly this whole time, you know. It’s a shame he wasn’t here when you woke up. He was really anxious; worried sick about you. I’ll locate him, and I’m sure he’ll be here as soon as possible.”

He smiles and sighs with relief. “Thank you.”

“No problem, dear.”

She leaves the room and he thinks about what she told him.

_Poor Dad! Of course he’s worried! I go to school and suddenly I’m in a hospital bed! My injury must have been a lot worse than I thought. And people wonder why I don’t like sports… They’re so dangerous!_

The door opens again and Julia is back with two small plastic cups, one containing two pills and the other filled with water to help with swallowing them. He takes them thankfully, eager for his headache to go away.

“I let them know you’re awake, and your dad will be contacted. The doctor is coming soon, as well. You need to be examined to see if there’s been any serious damage. You’ve been out for quite a while.”

 _Oh. That doesn’t sound good. But I feel_ _normal._

“But I feel normal,” he says, relaying the exact thought plaguing his mind.

“I’m sure you do. It’s just regular procedure,” she answers, adjusting his bed and disconnecting some of the cables around his body, though she keeps him connected to whatever one makes the monitor beep.

“When you say ‘quite a while’…  How much time is that, exactly?”

“Oh, dear. You were comatose for nearly 72 hours.  Gave your dad quite a scare.”

“72 HOURS? THREE DAYS? OH MY GOD!”

Julia smiles. “Yes, I know it’s quite a shock. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told you that until you talked to the doctor.” The door is opened again and a good-looking man in his forties walks in. “Ah! Here he is.”

The man extends his hand. “Hello, I’m Doctor Hamilton.” Kurt shakes his hand wearily. “So, how do you feel?”

“I have a headache, but I’ve gotten some medicine for that already. Other than that, I’m good.”

“That’s good. You had some very minor injuries alongside your body, but your head suffered quite a serious blow.”

 _My_ body _? Well, maybe I bruised something when I tripped and fell._

“First things first. I’m going to ask you to do some things and answer some questions. They might sound a bit silly, but they’re necessary. Follow my finger with your eyes. Good. Now raise your right arm. Okay, now raise your left arm.”

Kurt sighs. _‘Silly’ is an understatement_. __

“Tell me your name and age.”

“Kurt Hummel, 16 years old.” The doctor wrinkles his forehead and looks at a weird looking clipboard, which seems to be electronic.

 _This hospital really_ is _high-tech! I don’t think I’m in Lima. It must be a hospital in Columbus or Cleveland._

“Can you tell us what year this is, Mr. Hummel?”

“Of course I can. It’s the end of 2009.” The doctor and the nurse share a look.

“Mr. Hummel…”

“Please, call me Kurt.”

“Sure.  Kurt, I’ll need you to remain very calm now. Take a deep breath. Kurt…  It’s not 2009. This is 2020.”

“WHAT?” _That’s impossible. It must be a joke._ “Hahah, very funny! It’s not! It’s 2009! I’m 16! I’m in high school!”

“I’m sorry, Kurt, but it isn’t. This is 2020. And, according to your file, you’re 27.”

“No. No no no no no. No! I can’t be! I’m not old! I’m 16! Where’s my dad? I want my dad!”

“I’m really sorry. But don’t worry. Amnesia is not very uncommon in coma cases and the memories usually come back.”

“No… I… I’m not… I can’t…” He feels the tears rolling down his cheeks. “I just want my dad…”

As if on cue, Burt enters the room, his worried face as shocking as any other reality check Kurt could have received.

He looks _old._ A lot older than he should be… Than Kurt remembered him being...

He takes the few steps needed to reach the bed and hugs Kurt, ignoring Julia and Dr. Hamilton.

“Kurt! I’m so happy you’re okay! I was worried sick! Everybody was. I still haven’t told them, but they’re going to be ecstatic, for sure! Why are you crying? Does it hurt somewhere?” He turns to the doctor. “He’s going to be okay, right? Please, tell me he’ll be fine! Why is he crying? What have you done?”

“Dad, stop rambling…”

“Right, right. I’m sorry. Sorry, go on doctor. I’m sorry I interrupted.”

“Actually, Mr. Hummel, we do have something to discuss. I don’t want you to worry, but Kurt is at the moment suffering from post-traumatic retrograde amnesia. Now, this should normalize…”

“Wait, wait, wait… Hold on! He lost his _memory_?”

“Well, only partially, of course, and as I was saying…”

“Kurt! You know who I am, right?” Burt asks in a panic.

“Dad, I _just_ you called you dad. I know you’re my dad.”

“Oh. Good. So what don’t you remember?”

“My… life…” he starts crying again, sobbing against his father’s embrace.

“It’s okay, kiddo. We’ll get through this.” Burt turns back to Dr. Hamilton. “Is there anything else?”

“No, the amnesia seems to be the only damage. And, as I was trying to say before, it should go away with time.  He’s forgotten _a lot_ of time, however, so it might take a while for his memories to start coming back.”

“How long is ‘a while’?” Burt voices the question that Kurt was afraid to ask.

“Anything from a few weeks to months.”

“Months?”

“It’s okay, kiddo, we’ll tell you everything. We can, right?” He directs the question at the doctor. “We can tell him stuff?”

“Sure. Although I suggest not overdoing it. Little doses are better. Looking at old pictures and videos might help as well. I’ll leave you now, but I’ll be back in a few hours to check on you, Kurt. If all goes well, you’ll be allowed to leave the hospital within a few days.”

They thank the doctor and Julia, who leaves with instructions for Burt to stay only for ten more minutes then leave Kurt to rest. They nod and Kurt sighs, leaning back against the pillows.

“I don’t get it. How could I have forgotten such a long period of my life?”

“How much can’t you remember?”

“Years, dad! The last thing I remember was being in school running laps because Coach Tanaka told me to.”

“High school, then? Wow…” He frowns. “It’s okay,” he adds reassuringly. “We’ll help you remember.”

“I’m sorry if this is a dumb question, but… Who’s ‘we’?”

“Oh! Right… I mean me, Carole, Finn, and Blaine.” He looks into Kurt’s confused eyes, taking the time to organize his thoughts. “Carole’s my wife… We got married many years ago, when you were still in school. Probably not long after the last thing you remember. Finn’s her son, my stepson. You two were classmates.”

“Wait, Finn? Finn Hudson? You married Finn’s mom?”

“Exactly.”

Kurt’s eyes and mouth open wide with shock. The fact that his dad married again is surprising enough, but Kurt’s glad he moved on and found someone to love again. But Finn’s mom? He wonders if his dad knows that he has a crush on Finn. _Oh my god, I hope I got over that!_

“Well, that’s… Nice, I think. You said another name…”

“Blaine. He’s… Well, he’s your husband.”

“WHAT?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the lovely Katie for the art in this chapter!


	3. Chapter 2

# Chapter 2

 

“Damn it. I’m sorry, son. I shouldn’t have said that. The doctor said…”

“I don’t care about what the doctor said, Dad! You said ‘husband’! I have a husband!”

“Well… Yes. Blaine,” he says a second time.

_Oh my freaking god, I have a husband! I’ve never even kissed anyone – well, not that I remember – and now I have a husband?! Wait…_

“Wait, husband? Not… Not partner? Husband? We’re actually married? Legally?”

Burt grins down at his son. “Yes, kiddo. _Legally_.”

Kurt lets out a loud shriek and covers his mouth. Burt’s expression is of pain.

“My goodness, Kurt, I’d forgotten how loud you could be.”

“Sorry, but… A husband! Blaine… What’s he like? What does he look like? What does he do? Where did we meet?”

“Wow, slow down, Kurt. I really don’t think I should be telling you that much. You should be resting.”

“Do you honestly think I can rest before I know everything? Besides, what if he comes here and I don’t recognize him? I’d be so embarrassed! Actually… Why _isn’t_ he here? Does he know I’m awake now?”

“I’ve left him a message, but he’s very busy, Kurt. He wanted to be here, of course, but he’s traveling on business. He’ll be glad to hear you’re doing well.”

“Not so well. I don’t even remember him… What does he look like? Is he… hum…”

“Handsome?”

Kurt cheeks turn pink and he looks down.

“Yeah, he is. Even I have to admit that. The boy’s good looking. Bit too short, but good looking.”

“Oh. Short? Like, shorter than me?”

“Yes, but I don’t think you mind. At least I never heard you saying anything about it.”

It sounds weird to have a shorter boyfriend. He never thought short boys were attractive. At all. His biggest crush to date was Finn, who is the tallest guy around.

 _Maybe I’ve evolved over the years and don’t care about that sort of thing anymore. And Dad did say he’s good looking, and if_ dad _said that, he must be really handsome._

“What else? What’s he like? How did we meet?”

“He’s… Okay, I guess. He’s a nice guy. Honest. Hardworking. Respectful. And you met in high school.”

It takes Kurt by surprise that his dad says ‘high school’, as it had been a long time ago. For him, high school was only a few hours ago. He sighs. He seems to have a good life now, so why the hell can’t he remember it? Is the universe so unfair that when he actually managed to be happy, it took his happiness away from him? The life his dad described sounds great. His husband seems perfect. But it all sounds like a story, like someone else’s life. How can it be his life if he doesn’t remember it? Will he ever remember it? What if he doesn’t? What if he has somehow lost over ten years of his life that he can never get back? His nose starts to prickle and he looks up trying to avoid the tears that threaten to escape.

“Thanks, Dad. I think that’s enough now. I’d like to rest a bit.”

“Sure, kiddo. Sleep tight.”

His dad helps ease him down to a resting position and he sighs, thankful for the drugs that make him fall asleep quickly.


	4. Chapter 3

# Chapter 3

It was a car accident, he finds out. A very tired truck driver who fell asleep behind the wheel, causing Kurt to swerve suddenly, only to have him crash into another car.

Nearly a week has passed since he woke up and his dad has come to see him every day. He seemed to be there every time Kurt opened his eyes. No one else came, though. He spoke on the phone with Finn and Carole, who live in Lima and couldn’t come see him.

He lives in L.A., which had made him feel very important, even if it isn’t New York. Sure, he would have loved to be in the city that never sleeps, but L.A. is a great second choice. If nothing else, it means he walks among celebrities, goes where they go, and maybe he’s even had the chance to meet some of them! He wants to ask his dad, but feels a bit shy about bringing it up. Also, whenever he realizes how much he has forgotten, it makes him depressed, so he avoids talking more to his dad about it. Aside from the car accident and living in L.A., he hasn’t been told much more. He has yet to meet Blaine, who is not in the city (The state? The country? Kurt isn’t sure). His dad told him how he called while Kurt was asleep and left a message saying he would be back in about 10 days, which still gives Kurt a few days to prepare for when he arrives. Not that he thinks he could actually _ever_ be ready. At least he won’t be on a hospital bed.

He is going home today; to his actual house, which he, of course, can’t remember. His dad is going to stay with him until Blaine arrives, though, which is a relief. They drive through the city and Kurt pays attention in the beginning, trying to memorize the way, the names of the streets, and the commerce in the area. It’s not long before he gives up, though. It is way too much for him to remember, and he is once again reminded of his limitation. His interest perks up later, however, when they enter a neighborhood with the biggest and most beautiful houses he has ever seen.

_Oh my god! Do they belong to celebrities? They must! I have to ask dad to come here again sometime. See if there’s a nearby café or bakery. How spectacular it would be to meet a celebrity in a fancy bakery!_

The car stops in front of a gate and Kurt frowns.

_Why are we stopping here?_

Burt opens the window and presses an intercom, announcing they have arrived. The gates are opened and Kurt’s jaw drops at the sight. In front of him is a beautiful manor with Spanish arcs on the front, a wide porch and a stunningly flowered front garden.

  _I live_ here _?_

“I live _here_?”

“Yes. Do you like it?”

“It’s amazing! It looks like… I don’t know… A celebrity’s house!”

“Well, Blaine is sort of famous…”

“What? Really? You didn’t tell me that! Why is he famous?”

“You didn’t seem like you wanted to know more. And I didn’t want to push you too much. He’s an actor.”

“Like… In movies? He’s a movie star?”

“Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

“Shut up!”

“What? That’s rude Kurt, why did you say that?”

“No, I meant like… Seriously?”

“Oh, right. I forgot that used to be a slang. Yes, seriously.”

Burt parks the car as a young girl dressed in a uniform comes out of the house. Burt helps Kurt out of the car and introduces her as Andrea, the housemaid. Kurt smiles and extends his hand.

 “Hello, Andrea. I’m sorry I don’t remember you. I don’t really remember anyone at the moment.”

The girl gives him a tight smile and hesitantly takes the offered hand. “It’s no problem, sir,” she says in a barely audible voice.

_Wow. She must be really shy. Or maybe she just doesn’t know how to handle this situation. Well, I guess that makes two of us already._

His dad escorts him inside and he is, once again, mesmerized. He is standing in a huge hall, with staircases on both sides. His dad explains that beyond the closed doors ahead is a living room with glass doors that lead to the swimming pool outside. Somewhere around them there is also a kitchen, an office, and a private cinema. Upstairs held the bedrooms and bathrooms, as well as a gym. Kurt feels like a kid on Christmas morning, with a huge house to explore, or play with, for that matter. He feels like running from room to room, but tries to contain his excitement in front of his dad as much as he can.

“Can we see the rest? I don’t want to get lost if I want a glass of water in the middle of the night.”

“But, sir, if you need a glass of water you just call me and I’ll bring it to you. There’s no need for you getting out of bed.”

Kurt makes a face. That made no sense. “That’s absurd. Why would I ask _you_ to get out of bed in the middle of the night to get _me_ some water?”

“Oh. I’m sorry, sir.”

“It’s okay. You don’t need to apologize.”

_My, she’s really sensitive. I’ll have to remember that._

“How long have you been working here?”

“Two months, sir.”

“And you still call me ‘sir’?”

The girl blushes slightly. “How would you like me to call you, sir?”

“Well, not ‘sir’ would be great. Just ‘Kurt’ is ok. I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. I’m not used to having a maid; or living in a house so big, as a matter of fact.”

Burt, who was watching the interaction silently, motions for Kurt to follow him. “This way, son. I don’t know half the house myself. It’s way too big for me. I have no idea why you need all this stuff. Let’s explore together. Andrea, why don’t you take a rest? We’ll call you later if we need you.”

The girl nods and bows slightly before rushing away.

“She’s…  Peculiar. Very formal, isn’t she?”

“Yeah, she’s like that with me too. Now, let’s see. I’ll show you only the basics, okay? Living room first!”

 

Kurt holds his breath as he enters the spacious living room, with a high ceiling and elegant decoration. The furniture is clean and simple, in black, white and hues of gray and it all seems as though it was taken right out of a 50’s movie.

_This is so ME! I must have been the one who decorated it! I must have decorated the whole house! No, more than that! I CHOSE this house!_

He grins as he takes in the obscenely large couches and the comfortable-looking armchairs, the patterned floor and the bar on the corner, with high stools.

_We must throw a lot of parties in here. I bet we have many friends and a very busy social life!_

He turns to the other side of the room and, once again, his jaw drops. Above a fireplace (which Kurt finds really odd –isn’t L.A. supposed to be warm?), occupying most of the left wall, is a huge portrait of a good looking man, straight black hair and dark green eyes  that seem even more pronounced by his thick eyebrows. He has a straight nose and full lips upon a cleanly shaved face with a strong jaw line. The portrait fits well with the whole classic design of the house, and the man in it is definitely nothing less than stunning.

“So… How do you like your husband?”

Kurt’s eyes widen.

“ _That’s_ Blaine? He’s… Wow! He is… Well, I clearly have good taste.”

Burt chuckles. He has long since stopped being uncomfortable talking about men with Kurt, but that doesn’t mean he likes hearing about it either.

Kurt gets closer to the wall. On the mantelpiece are several small frames, this time containing actual pictures. The first one shows Blaine with another guy, slightly older, which Kurt assumes is a brother (though they don’t look that much alike). In the second frame is a picture of Blaine smiling widely in front of the Coliseum and the third one shows his husband on a stage. The fourth and last one is the only one that shows Kurt. The couple is together in front of the Eiffel Tower ( _I hope that was the honeymoon!_ ). They are standing side by side with huge smiles on their faces. It is easy to see Blaine is a lot shorter than him, but his dad was right, it doesn’t make him any less good-looking.

“Ready to see the rest?”


	5. Chapter 4

# Chapter 4

 

His dad shows him the kitchen (large enough to cater for a party!) and the cinema (with comfortable reclining chairs), then leaves him in his bedroom so he can rest. Upon entering the bedroom, the first thing that Kurt notices is another large portrait above the headboard of a bed so large, Kurt is sure it could fit five people comfortably (the thought alone makes his cheeks warm). To the left is a slightly ajar door, which he is delighted to discover leads to a luxurious bathroom decorated with marble, which includes a large oval shaped hydro massage bathtub.

To the right there is another door, and Kurt can’t help but jump excitedly upon opening it. In front of him is a the biggest closet he has ever seen, with so many clothes, shoes, hats and other accessories he actually feels slightly dizzy. He quickly discovers the right side is his and the left side is Blaine’s, and they both seem to be equally full of beautiful clothes, which obviously means his husband is as fashionable as he is.

_As if I’d accept anything else!_

He goes back to the main room and throws himself on the center of the bed, spreading arms and legs in a star formation. The mattress is the perfect amount of soft to be comfortable, but not give you a backache the next day. The bedspread is beautiful and elegant, and the pillows are fluffy and feel soft against his cheek. The whole bed smells deliciously of clean laundry, and Kurt inhales deeply, sighing with content. It is a perfect bed for sleeping. He feels himself blushing again when he thinks of other things usually done in beds.

He has been giving it a lot of thought lately. He has a husband and that obviously means they have sex, but Kurt has no recollection of sex at all, and he isn’t even sure he can do it. He knows a bit of the theory, but nothing of the actual thing. The thought of having to do it with someone is of equal parts exciting and terrifying.

He rests an elbow on the bed to support part of his weight while he explores one of the bedside tables. It contains only a lamp and some sort of remote control (for the huge flat screen TV hanging on the wall ahead, he supposes). The first drawer has only tissues, sunglasses and a half-read biography of James Dean. The second drawer is even less exciting, with only some papers and a few pens. He turns to explore the other bedside table. This one has an iPhone dock with an alarm clock on it (a phone sits upon it, but Kurt chooses to explore that later). He opens the first drawer and closes it quickly when he sees a box of condoms. He opens it again carefully and can feel his whole body heating when he notices the bottle of lubricant next to the box of condoms. His cock twitches and he can’t help the fit of giggles that erupt from him.

_Good to know at least some part of me is interested in sex!_

He lies back on the bed and tries to conjure thoughts of the man in the pictures kissing him, exploring his body with his hands, licking his neck and touching his dick. He feels his cock filling slowly. He pulls open the button of the soft, simple jeans he is wearing and slides the zipper down carefully. He is aware of the nearby presences of his father and Andrea, but he also knows they both think he is resting and plan to leave him be.

He runs his hand down his cock slowly, fingertips barely brushing the sensitive skin. He keeps his eyes closed, doing his best to imagine another hand that not his own, another body pressed against his. His hand closes around his erection and he starts pumping, a strangled moan escaping through his pursed lips. He conjures the image of Blaine’s face as he saw in the portrait, but it only lasts for a few seconds before he is lost in the feeling of his hand running up and down his cock in a fast motion. Stars dance in front of his closed eyelids and he comes with a low groan and wonders if sex with another person can really be better than that.

 

Blaine arrives two days later. Kurt is in the living room with his dad, watching the news and trying to make sense of the world around him. He jumps to his feet when Andrea says Blaine (Mr. Anderson, she actually calls him) has arrived. His mouth is suddenly dry and he can feel his heart racing. He raises his hand to run it through his fringe in a nervous habit and licks his lips in anticipation.

His husband bursts into the living room with a huge smile that shows his perfectly white teeth.

“Kurt! It’s good to see you doing so well!”

He quickly strides over to where Kurt is standing and takes his hands between his own.

“I was _so_ worried when I heard about what happened! The thought of what could have happened to you! I could have lost you forever! You’re my whole life! You had me so scared! Don’t you dare do this to me again! You nearly gave me a heart attack! I told you many times that that road is dangerous! Why must you drive through it at night? Please don’t do that again.”

_He loves me. He really loves me! And damn it, he’s good looking!_

“I… I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, Kurt. The important thing is that you’re okay now.”

“Yes, except…”

“Yes, yes, Burt has told me about the amnesia. By the way, hello Burt. How are you doing? I’m sorry, I was just so worried about Kurt that I forgot to greet you. Thank you for taking such good care of him.”

“You don’t need to thank me, he’s my son. How else was I supposed to treat him?”

“Yes, of course. Now, there’s no need to worry about the amnesia. I’m sure you’ll get your memory back in no time. And I’ll help you with it, obviously. I’m rather tired, though. I had a very long day today. I’ll rest from the flight and we’ll talk some more tomorrow. Is that all right with you?”

Kurt nods. _My, he talks! He could rival Rachel!_

“Yes, sure. Just…erm… I… The room I’m sleeping in… I mean… Are you going to sleep in the same room?”

“Oh, right. You’re sleeping in our room?” He looks at Burt, who nods in confirmation.

“I understand. You wouldn’t feel comfortable sleeping next to a man you can’t even remember.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not a problem, Kurt. It’s not your fault. I’ll ask Andrea to prepare one of the guest rooms for you. Have a good night. Good night, Burt.”

Kurt wonders if he is trying to respect his condition or if he has a habit of never kissing him goodnight.  


	6. Chapter 5

# Chapter 5

 

Burt goes home the next day, but not before making Kurt promise to call if he needs anything at all and saying that he will be back soon to visit. Kurt can’t help but feel alone, which only makes him anxious, but he knows that Blaine and Andrea will make sure he has everything he needs.

Kurt looks at the closed door of the guest bedroom where he is staying at the moment. He wonders what Blaine is doing. He wants to talk to him, ask him about their lives together, but he doesn’t want to interrupt him. The curiosity is threatening to kill him, though.

_Screw this! He’s my husband, isn’t he? Sure he won’t mind!_

He finds Blaine in the gym, punching a boxing bag, and the sight alone makes him feel very warm again. He looks very handsome with a white tank top and grey shorts, sweat running down his face.

_He’s got a great ass._

He realizes he is becoming aroused quickly and blushes crimson. Maybe he’d better come back later.

“Hey, Kurt. You need something?”

Kurt clears his throat. “Er… No. I mean, I just wanted to talk.”

“Oh… Is it urgent? I’m in the middle of my training.”

“Erm… No, it’s fine. It can wait.”

“Great. I’ll go to your room later. I have a surprise for you.”

Kurt smiles.

_He’s so thoughtful!_

“All right, I’ll wait then.” He turns and goes back to his room, wondering what Blaine can be working on. Maybe it is something to help with this amnesia. Maybe he has some pictures to show him. Or videos.

The thought of videos reminds him he hasn’t actually seen any of the movies Blaine’s done yet, so he goes to the cinema room to see if they own any. He finds nothing, though; nothing but the huge screen. There is no DVD player of any kind, and he looks around frantically until he spots a remote control hanging from a support on the wall.

He grabs it and points it to the screen, pressing the only button available. A company logo appears in the center and the screen lights up, showing a menu. The remote control itself lights up as well, showing basic touch screen options.

_Bingo!_

He scans the menu and selects MOVIES. He has no idea what movies Blaine has starred in or even how many there are. The movies on the screen, however, are categorized by genre, but there is also an option to search for a movie. As soon as he clicks that, a keyboard appears on his remote control. He finds out he can also look for names of the cast members and selects that. Before he’s even finished typing his husband’s first name, the name BLAINE ANDERSON appears on screen.

_Guess there are not many actors named Blaine._

He scrolls down to see that his husband has been on 5 movies so far.

_Not much of a movie star then._

He selects the first one on the list, a superhero movie according to the synopsis, and sits down in the front row to enjoy it. Fifteen minutes in and he is hooked. The movie is fast-paced and gripping, with many funny moments and even some romance. The actor who plays the villain is terrific, his facial expressions so tuned that Kurt finds himself actually rooting for him. Blaine plays the superhero. He is… Well, he isn’t _bad._ But sometimes it feels like he is trying too hard. His overacting is bearable on the moments of comedy, but cringe-worthy when he tries to be dramatic. When compared to the actor who plays the villain, he is actually pretty bad.

_At least he’s handsome. That’s got to count for something._

There is a knock on the door and Kurt fumbles with the control for a few seconds before pausing the movie and shouting a _‘come in!’._

Andrea opens the door, her face apologetic.

“Excuse me, sir.”

“Kurt.”

“Right, sorry! Excuse me, Kurt. Mister Anderson is waiting for you in the living room.”

“Oh, okay. Tell him I’ll be right there, will you?”

Andrea looks taken aback with the response, but nods and leaves quietly.

Kurt returns to the movie. It is near the end and he is just going to finish it and then he’ll talk to Blaine. He doesn’t get to do that, however, as Blaine blasts through the door merely a couple of minutes later. Kurt startles and pauses the movie hastily.

“Why didn’t you come?”

“I’m sorry, I was just finishing the movie. It’s so good!”

That earns him a lopsided smile. “Yeah, that’s your favorite. You always say I’m great in it.”

_I must be a pretty good liar then._

“Yeah… You are. Amazing.”

“Oh, well, finish up then. I’ll watch the end with you.”

He sits down next to Kurt, who resumes the movie. When the villain dies, Kurt can’t help but crying, tears slowly running down his cheeks.

“You did the same the first time you watched. You always root for the bad guys. Too bad I’m never cast as one.”

_That’s because you wouldn’t be able to play them so well._

“Yeah, a real pity. Maybe someday.” He turns off the movie and faces his husband.

“You wanted to talk to me?”

“Yes. I have a surprise! We’re having a dinner party in your honor!”

“A dinner party?” Kurt is torn between disappointed and excited. A dinner party is not exactly what he was expecting, but it is a party!  His friends are coming over and they are all going to celebrate together the fact that he is alive and well. Ok, that is actually exciting!

“It’s going to be this Sunday evening. I’ve already invited some of our closest friends. You’re going to love it!”


	7. Chapter 6

# Chapter 6

 

When Blaine said a dinner party with some of their closest friends, Kurt had expected anything between six and twelve people, not the near fifty that now crowded the pool area. There is loud music, everyone is dressed to impress, and waiters in uniforms served exotic appetizers. Everyone seems to be looking at him, eyeing him from head to toe and judging him, except no one is actually talking to him. Blaine has dragged him through the party, matching a bunch of unknown names to a bunch of unfamiliar faces, which has been completely useless. He is now the center of attention of a large group, all of them laughing at whatever it is he is saying. Meanwhile, Kurt is nearly hidden in the shadows on the wall opposite the house. A waiter spots him, however, and offers him some kind of sushi, which he gladly accepts. He has only eaten Japanese food once, but he has quite enjoyed it. Not this time, though. He makes a face as he swallows it forcefully.

“That’s eel. You don’t like eel. Blaine should have ordered salmon.” A large hand with long fingers offers him a glass of champagne and he takes it, smiling. Champagne is yet another thing he has little experience with, but this one is good, the only slightly sweet taste welcome on his tongue.

He looks up to face the stranger and frowns.

_I know him! He looks familiar. I actually remember someone!_

“I… I know you. I remember you.”

The man smiles. “You do? They said you had amnesia.”

“I do. I don’t remember anyone. But you… There’s something familiar.”

The stranger’s smile turns into a grin while Kurt squints his eyes, trying to place the face with a name of the man in front of him.

“It’s too dark in here. Come this way.”

He guides the man to a nearby spot which is illuminated by the light of tall lamp. He looks straight into the man’s eyes, which now he realizes are a dark shade of green, and not brown as he had thought before. His skin is tanned, his eyebrows well defined ( _He must have them done!_ ). His hair is cut short, but not enough to stop it from curling slightly at the front. He has a straight nose and a strong jaw line, with a hint of chubby cheeks now that he is smiling. He is somewhat taller than Kurt and strongly built, with broad shoulders, a large chest and strong arms. He looks like he could have been a football player or a hockey player…

“Karofsky!”

The man’s smile fades.

“Oh, my god! You’re David Karofsky! What the hell are you doing in my house?”

Karofsky gulps down, eyes darting to the ground. “You really don’t remember?”

“Of course I remember you! You were always bullying me, pushing me into lockers, throwing slushies at me and the rest of the glee cl… Oh. Right. That was a long time ago, right?”

The larger man sighs. “Yes. I… You really have amnesia. I thought maybe you were faking or something.”

“Why would I do that?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. I guess I just hoped…”

“So, what? You’re not a bully anymore? Are we friends now or something like that?”

Karofsky chuckles, but it sounds bitter to Kurt’s ears.

“Yeah, I guess you could say so. Definitely something like that.” He swallows audibly. “I’m Blaine’s agent.”

“Oh. He didn’t say that.”

“It’d be a miracle if he had mentioned anyone besides himself.”

“Hey! That’s my husband you’re insulting!” Kurt snaps, but can’t help but notice that Dave is right. In the few days Blaine has been home, Kurt has spoken to him only a handful of times, and never has he mentioned anyone else. He’s mostly talked about the movie he had been shooting (in Philadelphia, he has told Kurt) and about his career. The only other people he has mentioned were movie stars and directors, most of them people Kurt has never heard about. It hadn’t bothered him, however. He had loved to hear all about making movies! It had all sounded very glamorous!

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” Karofsky bites his lip, looking ready to burst into laughter, and Kurt shakes his head.

_Once a bully, always a bully._

“Excuse me. I’m going to find my husband.” He turns and walks away quickly, fuming with anger. Who does Karofsky think he is? He is a mean guy, who used to bully Kurt and his friends every day and who, apparently, hasn’t changed one bit! It is clear that some people never grow up! Well, he should realize he is just an agent, while Blaine is the star! For sure Blaine can easily replace him!

He goes back inside, barely registering where his footsteps are taking him. He stops dead on his tracks when he hears his name. It is coming from the kitchen, a female voice talking about him.

“It’s not that he’s not a nice guy, he’s just so… Common, you know.”

“I totally understand!” Another female voice answers. “He’s just an average guy and Blaine is so much more than that!”

“Blaine should be with someone more… Appropriate. I honestly don’t know what he sees in Kurt.”

“Me neither. It’s not that he’s not handsome or fun or talented, it’s just that, next to Blaine, he pales in comparison.”

“True. Who knows, maybe he’s a wiz in bed.” They laugh, and Kurt flushes, the anger he is feeling giving place to embarrassment and sadness. So that is what everyone is thinking about him, but no one is brave enough to say to his face. This party officially sucks! He doesn’t know anyone, no one is talking to him, they all think Blaine is too good for him and he has even run into his bully. He feels like a big joke. Feeling tears threatening to spill, he quickly runs up to his bedroom. He’ll tell Blaine all those people gave him a headache. If he asks, that is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to Katie for the art in this chapter!


	8. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos, bookmarks and comments! I hope I don't disappoint you!

# Chapter 7

 

“What the hell happened yesterday?” Blaine demands of him upon entering the kitchen where Kurt is having a large breakfast, courtesy of Andrea.

Kurt gulps down his orange juice and responds calmly. “I had a headache.”

“Why didn’t you say so? You just disappeared!  You could at least have said goodbye to everyone!”

“I’m sorry. I guess I thought they wouldn’t even notice.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Nobody even talked to me! Except for Karofsky, who is actually someone I’d rather have preferred to not talk to at all. Do they even know me, Blaine? Were any of my friends here yesterday?”

“Of course! They’re all your friends.”

“They looked more like _your_ friends. Do I even work with any of them?”

“You work with all of them! Well, most of them. They were mostly actors, producers and other people involved with the business. We were actually talking about this new script Donald just…”

“Wait. You were discussing projects yesterday?”

“Of course we were. Every party is an opportunity for business, Kurt.”

“Oh. I thought that one was for me.”

Blaine smiles, shaking his head. He takes Kurt’s hand, rubbing his thumb over the soft flesh.

 “Don’t be silly. It _was_ for you. You’re the most important person in my life, you know that. There is just no reason not to talk about projects as well.”

Kurt wants to be angry, but Blaine is so romantic it’s hard to stay mad at him. He then remembers what he had said about the people on the party.

“You said I work with all of them…”

“Most of them.”

“Whatever. How? What do I do?”

“Burt didn’t tell you?”

“Hum, not really. I wasn’t asking many questions at all, though. I was feeling a bit sad about not being able to remember all of this and worried I would never regain my memory of it. So… What is it? Am I a movie star too?”

Blaine laughs, actually laughs, at the idea, and Kurt can’t suppress the hurt he feels.

_What’s so funny? Why couldn’t I be a movie star too? I certainly act better than he does!_

Blaine’s laughter subsides and he wipes tears from his eyes.

“Sorry, that is just… No, Kurt, no. You’re a costume designer.”

“A costume designer?”

_That sucks._

“Yes, and a very good one! You’re the only one I work with!”

“Oh… So, do I work in a movie studio?”

“Sure. Would you like me to take you there?”

“Yes! Please!” __

_I may not be an actor, but at least I’m inside the studio!_

“Awesome, we’ll go later today. Who knows, you might actually remember something!”

 

He remembers nothing. Instead he finds himself surrounded by even more unfamiliar faces in a completely strange environment. The fabrics and sketches are somewhat of a dream and he sees his signature upon them and can hardly believe he was the one to draw costumes so incredible. The people, on the other hand, are barely more than polite. They greet him and ask about his health, but it all seems very cold. It doesn’t even seem like they were concerned for him at all. He is asked about his amnesia and when he is coming back to work, but none of them look too eager to have him back. Blaine has left him all by himself, saying he needed to be somewhere, but would be back soon. Kurt finds himself wishing he’d just come back and take him home already. He has no idea how he is able to work in such an unfriendly environment and wonders if it would be different if he could remember it; if maybe people just aren’t sure how to approach him. So puts his head up and decides to be as nice as he can be. He smiles at everyone and keeps doing it until he gets a smile back. It’s small and probably forced, but he doesn’t care. It feels like a small victory that someone is willing to be at least a tiny bit friendly to him. He asks questions about the job and receives some weird looks, but they explain the basics, and so what if it they sound condescending? He’s not stupid and he gets the idea pretty quickly. He’s always been good with clothes and costumes. He used to design clothes for his action figures before he could even read and write. He gets a good grasp of the process and decides to come back for good. He asks for something to do and they all look at each other, unsure as to what to give him.

_What do they think, that I can’t even sew a button?_

“I’m not going to ruin all your clothes, you know? I know I don’t remember much right now, but I’m more than capable of sewing.”

They keep looking at each other uneasily. Janette, a blond woman that looks to be in her forties finally speaks. “But… You’re the _boss_. The _designer._ You don’t sew.”

_Oh._

“Well... I see. I want to do something, though. If I didn’t have amnesia, what would I be doing?”

This time it is his assistant who speaks up. She’s tall and chubby, with long dark hair and mocha skin. Her name is Brenda and she appears to be in her early twenties.

“We’re done with all of the sketches for this movie and Janette has being doing any necessary alterations, so you were already working on other movies. You have two projects to work on. They’re in your office.” She points to a small room with glass windows in the corner.

He thanks her and heads inside, immediately finding two large files. One contains only a script for a movie with some handwritten notes on the pages. The other has not only the script with notes, but also quite a lot of sketches. He sits down on a large, and rather comfortable, black leather chair and starts reading the second file, being careful to read all the notes that he had taken as well. Time flies and before he knows it there’s a knock on the glass window and Blaine is standing there, looking perfect in his tailored clothes and a bright smile. He gets up and takes the file, deciding to finish it at home.

“You look like you were in your habitat again,” Blaine says as they walk to the car.

“It feels weird to be working, right now, but I’m enjoying reading the script. I’m taking it home to study it. Are you in this one too?”

“No, not really. But I’m in the other one you’re working on.”

“Sounds like I had a lot on my plate.”

“Yes, you did. But that’s you. You always work a lot. It’s one of the things I like most about you.”

He smiles bashfully. “One thing is odd, though. The people in there. They weren’t very… Well, they weren’t very friendly. Don’t they like me?”

“What? Of course they do! Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not being ridiculous. I swear. They were very hostile.”

“You’re imagining things, Kurt. Everyone loves you.”

“Were any of them at the party yesterday? There were too many people for me to memorize everyone, but none of them looked familiar today.”

“Of course not. I didn’t invite them. They’re not the people we hang out with, Kurt. We are friends with directors and producers and only the top people in the industry. We treat everyone nicely, of course, and they love us, but we only hang out amongst our own people. It would have been nonsensical to invite them.”

Kurt feels anger boiling inside of him. “Why? Because they aren’t _people_? Because we can’t _benefit_ from them?”

“Why are you yelling at me? It’s just the way it is. I didn’t make the rules, I just follow them.”

_Maybe you should break them!_

He sighs and shakes his head.  It sounds wrong to him, but Blaine is right, he’s probably overreacting.

“What about the people from high school? The ones I actually remember. Am I not friends with anyone anymore?”

“Of course you are! You’ve been talking to Mercedes a lot lately.”

“Really? That’s fantastic! Who else?”

“Hum… I guess just her. But hey, give her a call and invite her over. I haven’t actually seen her in years, it’ll be nice to catch up.”

Kurt frowns. If Mercedes is his friend, why hasn’t Blaine seen her in years? And why hasn’t she come by to visit? Why isn’t he in touch with anyone else, for that matter? But the way Blaine said it implies Mercedes lives nearby and that’s more than he was expecting anyway. He makes a mental note to call Mercedes as soon as possible.


	9. Chapter 8

# Chapter 8

 

He takes a few minutes to find Mercedes’ phone number and when he calls her it goes to voicemail and he just hangs up, unsure of what to say.

_Hey, Cedes! It’s Kurt! I just woke up from a coma and have amnesia! Let’s hang out? Call me!_

He lies in his bed feeling more content with himself since waking up. Granted, things aren’t perfect yet, but he feels like he’s taking control of his life back and it feels empowering. He’s got his job back, even if he doesn’t remember exactly what to do. He’s studying and trying and he feels confident that he’s bound to pick it up sooner rather than later. He’s found out he’s still friends with the girl who, in his mind, is his current best friend and he has the means to reach her. There’s just one area of his life he still needs to start to work on: his marriage. He likes Blaine, but doesn’t really feel a connection to him and it all just seems what having a roommate would feel like.

_Well, time to change that too!_

With confidence surging through him, he stands up quickly and, before he can second-guess himself, knocks on Blaine’s bedroom door. He hears Blaine’s muffled voice telling him to come in and opens the door, sliding in and closing it behind them. Blaine is sitting on the bed reading and smiles up at him.

“Hey, there. Do you need anything?”

“Kiss me.”

“What?”

“I’ve never kissed anyone. Well, not that I remember. And you’re my husband, so I was wondering if you would… You know, kiss me.”

“Kurt… There’s no need to rush anything. I know you can’t remember me and that’s fine, we’ll take things slow.”

“I don’t want to take things slow! Listen… I’ll let you know if it becomes too much, ok? Just… Please kiss me.”

He sits down on the bed in front of his husband, and Blaine sighs and smiles. He cups Kurt’s cheeks gently with small soft hands and Kurt feels his heart beating faster. He can smell Blaine’s cologne (a bit too strong, and he has to control himself not to make a face) and see’s Blaine’s face approaching his, his eyes closing slowly. He mimics the action and holds his breath. He feels the pressure of Blaine’s soft lips against his. It lasts for about three seconds and then Blaine pulls back. He waits to be kissed again, but instead he hears Blaine’s voice.

“Kurt? Are you ok?”

He releases his breath. “I… Yeah.”

_That’s it?_

“Did you like it?”

_There is barely anything to like._

“Can we do it again?”

Blaine smiles, clearly misinterpreting Kurt’s request, and leans back in to kiss him again. This time, however, he parts his lips slightly and Blaine does the same. Their lips fit together and he can taste the mint from his toothpaste and, okay, it’s better than before, but still very far from what he had imagined. He is the one who pulls away this time, but Blaine doesn’t seem to mind. He searches for something to say to make this less awkward, but Blaine saves him.

“I think that’s enough for now. Let’s take this one step at a time. I don’t want to overwhelm you.”

“Yes, right. I think that’s a good idea. I’ll, um… I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Good night, Kurt. Sweet dreams.”

 

He doesn’t sleep very well, however, and is unsettled the next day. He was hoping that going back to work and kissing Blaine would trigger some memory to surface, but that wasn’t what happened and now he feels deluded again. He’s trying to take control of his life, but it seems more trouble than what it’s worth at the moment. He gets a call from his dad the next morning and that cheers him up. He tells him about work and Burt is happy to hear the news. His optimism gets to Kurt, who takes the huge file he had brought with him the previous day and throws himself back into his work. He goes back to reading, making new notes every now and again, and spreads the sketches around him upon the dining room table. A knock on the door interrupts him and he has half a mind not to answer, because he knows that can only be Andrea, since Blaine isn’t home (again) today. So, it comes as a surprise when David Karofsky is the one to slide the door open.

“Blaine’s not here. And how did you get in?” He’s being rude, but he doesn’t care.

“I know. I’m here to talk to you. And Andrea let me in.”

_I’ll have to talk to Andrea about this._

“What do you want then?”

“To apologize. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You insulted my husband, how did you expect me to feel?” He gets up, not liking the height advantage Karofsky has on him.

“Normally you wouldn’t mind. Actually, you’d have agreed. But I’m sorry anyway. And I won’t say anything against him anymore, I promise. Can you forgive me?”

He actually sounds repentant and the tone of his voice is very sweet, his puppy eyes adding to the contrived expression and Kurt finds himself wanting to reach out and hug him tight. He raises his chin, managing to keep an angry façade.

“Fine. But you’d better be true to that promise.”

Karofsky’s face breaks into a smile and this time Kurt can’t help but smile along. The larger man’s eyes flicker to the sketches spread on the table and the surprise is evident on his face.

“You’re back to work!?”

“Yes. I mean, sort of. I dropped by yesterday and brought some things home to try and see if I can figure out what needs to be done.” He expects a comment on how he’ll soon remember everything, the kind Blaine usually does, but Karofsky makes none. Instead he reaches closer and examines the sketches. “It’s the 18th century one? You were very advanced with this movie. There were only a few changes to make into the sketches you had done. I’m **not** very good with this kind of thing, but let me know if there’s anything I can do. You’re very talented, Kurt, and very intelligent as well. Even if you can’t remember what to do, you’ll be able to come up with incredible costumes.”

He’s taken aback by the compliment (Karofsky never seems to do what Kurt expects him to) and feels his throat tightening. He sniffs and looks down, embarrassed. He clears his throat before speaking again. “Thank you. That’s very nice of you. You’re the first person who’s actually offered to help instead of expecting me to remember everything suddenly.” He sighs, remembering his visit to the studio. “The people I work with weren’t exactly friendly when I was there yesterday.”

“They don’t like you.”

“No, they don’t seem to like me at all.”

“It’s because they envy you. They seem to think you only got the job because you’re Blaine’s husband.”

“Oh. You think so?”

“You told me so.”

“I… Did? You seem to know a lot about me. Do we talk a lot?”

“Yes. You tell me everything.”

“I do? Why?”

“Because you love me.”


	10. Chapter 9

# Chapter 9

 

“What?”

_As if my life isn’t surreal enough!_

“You love me. And I love you.” He says it so calmly, so surely, as if merely telling Kurt what the time is. Kurt gapes at him, his mind reeling with a thousand thoughts per second. He’s surprised, and then thinks Karofsky is tricking him because there’s no way he’d ever love the former jock, but the tone of his voice and the honesty in his eyes make him think it might actually be true. But then he remembers Karofsky isn’t gay, which means this is obviously a trick. Everything Kurt felt in that moment turns into anger.

“You jerk! How can you do this? You’re despicable! God, and here I was beginning to think maybe you _had_ changed!”

“I’m not lying. I do love you, Kurt. More than anything and anyone.”

“Get out of my house!”

“Kurt!”

“GET OUT!”

“LISTEN TO ME!”

The booming voice startles him and he takes a step back.

“Listen to me… _Please_.” Karofsky lowers his voice to barely more than a whisper. “I love you. We’re lovers.”

“I would never do that to Blaine.”

“You don’t love him. You did, for a while, but not anymore.”

“I don’t believe you. You’re not even gay.”

Karofsky laughs. It’s an unstoppable laughter that has Kurt wondering what’s so funny. He finally stops, catching his breath. “I’m gay, Kurt. I’m definitely gay. I’ve always been gay. I just wasn’t out during high school. But you found out…”

“And what? We magically became lovers? That’s bullshit! Blaine and I have been together since high school!”

“No, it is… A lot more complicated than that. You dated Blaine in high school, but you moved to New York after you graduated and Blaine stayed behind. You tried to stay together, but it didn’t work and eventually you broke up. I was in New York as well and we ended up becoming close. We started dating after some time. I couldn’t believe it for a while. I always had a crush on you, a big one, and suddenly you were kissing me and telling me you wanted to be with me. It was like a dream come true.”

His voice is raspy and he’s looking at the ground while he speaks and it touches something within Kurt, who now wants to know everything. He encourages the other man with a whispered “go on”.

“We stayed together for nearly eight months. Eventually we broke up because… Well, I guess we were very immature. I put you on this high pedestal and seeing you as normal human being with flaws took its toll on me. You, on the other hand… You said I had no ambition, that our relationship wasn’t going anywhere. You called it off. And it devastated me. I wasn’t myself for months. But I moved on, sort of, and so did you. I had other boyfriends – well, flings to be honest, but none of them lasted more than a few weeks. You tried to get back together with Blaine, though he was already living here in California, trying to get his big break. But you couldn’t deal with the distance, like you hadn’t before. After about a year apart, we got back together.”

“How?” The question draws Dave’s attention and he looks up for the first time and smiles, pleased that Kurt seems to believe him. A faint blush colors his cheeks.

“During a party. We got a bit drunk and… well... we spent the night together. After that we talked and confessed we missed each other and that we still had feelings for one another. I told you I had changed and pretty much begged you for another chance. And you gave me one.”

“But we broke up again.” Kurt states the obvious.

“Yes, after two and a half years. We had been living together since we graduated, but we still struggled with money. I was still an office-boy and was waiting for a chance to get a better job. You were already designing costumes, but to an off-Broadway theater group and you wanted more. Then Blaine came into our lives again. He contacted you to let you know he would be appearing in a movie and to make sure you wouldn’t miss it. He was boasting, of course, applying salt to your wounds. I told you that, but you claimed that he hadn’t meant to, it is just the way he is. The movie was a success and the lucky bastard got his big debut. He went from no one to the A-list within weeks and got a second movie. You were jealous and kept saying that life was unfair. You’ve always had these big dreams of fame and fortune and the reality was a far cry from it. We were living in a tiny apartment and counting coins to do the groceries. Then Blaine called again and told you that apparently the designer for his new movie was looking for an assistant and that he had mentioned you. We had a big argument about it. I wanted you to stay because I was afraid of losing you, but you told me you had to take the chance. You asked me to come with you, but by then I was working in an agency and leaving would mean missing that opportunity as well. In the end, our careers set us apart.”

“Then I married Blaine.”

“Yes. Less the six months after leaving New York. It was a shock. I was depressed once more. But after a while I decided to come after you.”

“But I was married.”

“I didn’t care. I had lost you twice and both times I didn’t even try to stop you from leaving. I decided this time I would fight for you and I would get you back. I moved to California and got a job in an agency, which wasn’t hard because I had good references. I got lucky, because shortly after Blaine had a disagreement with his previous agent, who didn’t want him to come out of the closet. Everybody heard about it, it was quite a scandal. It only made Blaine more famous, though, and LGBTQ organizations started using him as a poster boy, a gay hero. I approached him by then and said I wanted to represent him. He knew who I was, of course, and I thought that could make him reject me, but it was the opposite. He accepted my offer and treated me extremely well all the time. Of course he also managed to mention you and how much the two of you loved each other and how happy you were together at every chance he had.”

“What a jerk!”

“I thought we couldn’t insult your husband.” For the first time since Karofsky had started talking, Kurt smiles.

“And I just jumped right back into your arms?”

Karofsky laughs again. “I wish! At first you were shocked to see me again, and were very cold to me. Blaine made sure we were left alone, like he was testing us or something, and I tried talking to you, but you didn’t seem to want to talk to me. After a while Blaine stopped forcing us to socialize. I was getting tired myself, but I was still determined to set things right between us. And I needed you to know I still loved you. One night at a party, much like the one you had this week, I noticed you had disappeared and found you all by yourself right here, in the dining room. And then I told you.”

“Told me what?”

“That I loved you. That I missed you. That I was sorry for the mistakes I had made, but that I was never going to give up on you or stop loving you.”

“Did I tell you to leave?”

“No.”

“I should have.” It’s said with a hint of a smile and Karofsky chuckles.

“Probably. But lucky for me, you didn’t. You broke down. You started to cry and I just held you for a while. It felt so… familiar. It was like I had found a part of me I had been missing.”

“Why was I crying?”

“Because your dream life wasn’t as dreamy as you wanted people to believe. You had the job you wanted – by then you weren’t even an assistant anymore and you were designing your own costumes – but the people you worked with treated you coldly. You had no friends and even your best friend had stopped talking to you.”

“Mercedes?”

“Yes. You told me later that she didn’t want you to marry Blaine and had said it was a mistake, and you told her to take care of her own life.”

“I’d never say that!”

“But you did. And she was right, because you weren’t happy with him. He wasn’t mean or anything, but the relationship between you two was cold. He liked to show you off and demanded the best of you, while at the same time making sure you knew how inferior you were, though of course he never said it in so many words.”

_That doesn’t sound so farfetched._

“Did we get back together after that?”

“Not immediately. You didn’t want to cheat on Blaine. You kept avoiding me for a while – in fact, that is why you had been avoiding me before that as well. It took months for you to come around. One day you just appeared in front of my house out of the blue, saying you missed me and still loved me. We made love and talked and it was perfect. You spent the entire weekend with me – Blaine was travelling, as he often does. I thought I had gotten you back for good, but you avoided me again once the weekend was over and told me to pretend it had never happened. Until it happened again. And then you couldn’t fight it anymore. We started seeing each other regularly and making plans. You were going to leave Blaine, to ask for a divorce, but you kept waiting for the right time. Then suddenly, you had the accident. At first I didn’t even know there was something wrong. We sometimes would go days without talking to each other, especially when you were very busy or when you thought Blaine suspected of us. Then Blaine called me and told me.” He pauses then, taking a deep breath. He averts his eyes and sniffs and it’s clear he’s trying not to cry.

“He asked me to go to the hospital and make sure you had everything you needed. I went. You were still in a coma. It was horrible, seeing you like that. I thought you were going to die.” His voice breaks and he can’t continue. He’s struggling to control his sobs and Kurt feels tears running down his own face.

“Your father was there. I don’t know how, but I think he suspected us as well, because he told me that if I loved you, I wouldn’t come between you and Blaine. I didn’t want to intrude, so I just stopped going there. I did visit you once more, but only because I knew Burt wouldn’t be there. I was updated through the hospital staff, but they wouldn’t tell me much. They did tell me when you woke up… God, that was one of the happiest days of my life! I waited for you to call me, but you didn’t. At first I thought it is because Burt was around you. Then I talked to Blaine and he told me… He told me about the amnesia. I thought he was making it up. I got paranoid and thought he had found out about us and was trying to set us apart. Then at the party… ”

“You found out the truth. That I really didn’t remember.”

“Exactly. I was lost for a while, but after thinking hard and long about it, I made up my mind about coming here and telling you the truth. If you really can’t remember me, I want you to at least know about our love.”

“And why should I believe you?”

“You don’t? I told you everything!”

Kurt shrugs. “You may have invented it all.”

“It’s true!”

“Prove it then!”

He barely has time to realize what’s happening before Karofsky’s hands are gripping his face and pressing their lips together. His lips are hard and warm on his and he smells musky. Kurt’s eyes, which had gone wide with shock, now close on their own accord. He hears Karofsky whimper and feels an electric current running up his body.

 

**_“Hey! I am talking to you!”_ **

**_“The girl’s locker room is next door.”_ **

**_“What is your problem?”_ **

**_“Excuse me?”_ **

**_“What are you so scared of?”_ **

**_“‘Sides you sneaking in here to peak at my junk?”_ **

**_“Oh, yeah, every straight guy’s nightmare, that all us gays are secretly out to molest or convert you. Well, guess what hamhock? You’re not my type!”_ **

**_“That right?”_ **

**_“Yeah. I don’t dig on chubby boys who sweat too much and are going to be bald by the time they’re thirty.”_ **

**_“Don’t push me, Hummel!”_ **

**_“You’re gonna hit me? Do it!”_ **

**_“DON’T PUSH ME!”_ **

**_“Hit me ‘cause it’s not gonna change who I am. You can’t punch the gay out of me any more than I can push the ignoramus out of you!”_ **

**_“GET OUT OF MY FACE!”_ **

**_“You’re nothing but a scared little boy who can’t handle how extraordinarily ordinary you are!”_ **

**_And suddenly Karofsky lips were on his and everything stopped making sense._ **

Kurt pushes Karofsky back with all the strength he can muster. The larger man looks hurt.

“You kissed me.”

“You asked me for proof.”

“Not now. Before. You’ve kissed me before.”

“You remember?” There’s a start of a smile in Karofsky’s face.

“You forced yourself on me. In the locker room.”

The smile fades. “Really, Kurt? Of all of our kisses you could have remembered, that is the first one that comes to mind?”

“It’s really a memory, isn’t it? I did remember something.”

Karofsky grins. “When you went after me in the locker room asking me what my problem was and then told me I was chubby and scared of how ordinary I was? Yes, that really happened.”

“I remember. I actually remember something. My memory is coming back!” He jumps a few times, clapping his hands excitedly.  He stops suddenly, narrow eyes staring at the man in front of him. “Wait. You lied to me. You invented all that crap and I’m so STUPID I nearly believed you!”

“What? No, I didn’t! Everything I said is true!”

“What about this kiss? Why didn’t you tell me about it?”

“I… I don’t know. It isn’t exactly a happy memory or one that mattered to our history.”

“What else didn’t you tell me?”

“Are you accusing me of something?”

“Yes, lying!”

“Kurt, I wasn’t lying…”

“You know what? I’m very confused right now. Plus, I have a headache. Could you leave?”

“Kurt…”

“Please?”

Karofsky looks defeated, but nods and heads out. As soon as the door is closed Kurt collapses back in his chair.

_What else can’t I remember?_


	11. Chapter 10

# Chapter 10

 

The more he thinks about it, the more confused he gets. The story Karofsky told, and especially the way he talked about them, had sounded heartfelt and true. However, he can’t conceive the fact that he’d been cheating on Blaine. He is a rightful person and he thinks cheating is one of the worst things in the world. He totally condemns it, so it seems highly unlikely that he of all people would be doing it. On the other hand, if so many things in his life are different from what he had expected when he was a teenager, who’s to say that isn’t one of them? He then remembers his initial thought, that Karofsky isn’t gay and was just trying to mess with him. From what he remembers from him, he’s a mean bully and totally capable of a practical joke. He can’t deny, though, that the story was pretty elaborate for a lie. And why would he be trying to mess with him now, so many years later?

His head is reeling and all the back-and-forth thoughts are giving him a headache. He wishes he could talk to someone about it, but he can’t just call his dad about this and he doesn’t seem to have any friends who…

_Mercedes!_

As soon as the thought hits him he’s jumping up and grabbing the cellphone on the nightstand. He calls Mercedes number from the contact list and waits for her to pick up. He’s soon greeted with an automated answer, however, and curses under his breath. The beeping indicating he should leave a message sounds and he stammers, unsure of what to say.

“Um… Hi. Um… It’s Kurt. I, er… I need to talk to you. It’s important. Could you, er… Call me later? I’ll be waiting. Thanks. Bye.”

He turns off and makes a face.

_That’s bound to be the worst voicemail ever._

He goes into the kitchen to make himself some tea – perhaps that’ll help him calm down and focus his thoughts. Andrea is there washing the dishes and more than readily asks him if he needs something.

“Just some tea, but don’t worry, I’ll make it myself.”

“I can make right away, sir.”

“I told you to call me Kurt. And please, I need the distraction.”

She smiles and nods, resuming her washing. Kurt puts some water to boil and goes about getting everything he needs, then pauses suddenly and turns back to his maid.

“Andrea… You know that man that was here earlier today?”

“Mr. Karofsky?”

“Yes… Is he here often?”

“Not really. Only when Mr. Blaine invites him, I guess.”

“Oh. Thanks.”

 _So he_ was _lying! If we were really lovers, the maid would have seen him here a lot, right?_

He’s managed to convince himself a bit further and sips his tea absent-mindedly, cutting himself a slice of carrot cake to go with it. The only thing he can’t make sense of is the kiss he’s remembered. He’s sure that was an actual memory and it pretty much proves Karofsky wasn’t lying about that, at least. What bugs him even more, however, is that the only memory he’s gotten since the accident was one with Karofsky in it and seems to have been trigged by his kiss. Even more than that, the kiss felt _good_. It was passionate and hot and it made his heart flutter, whereas kissing Blaine hadn’t evoked any feelings, let alone memories.

_Maybe if I try it again. Maybe if we go further this time._

He blushes at the thought of making out with Blaine, but the idea isn’t unwelcomed. Perhaps a heavy make out session, maybe even more than that, will be able to make surface some of his lost memories. And if it doesn’t… Well, at least he’ll be having a good time. Hopefully.

 

He waits until they’ve both had dinner and Blaine’s withdrawn for the evening to tell him his idea. He ponders on what to wear. He’s never attempted to seduce anyone before and has no idea what Blaine would like. He can’t show up completely naked, even if that’s the ultimate goal, because he’s just not brave enough to be so forward. He can’t dress formally either, since the main objective is to get comfortable and homely. He settles for silk pajamas and prays Blaine finds him sexy when he wears that, because he has absolutely no clue. He knocks on Blaine’s door, stomach hurting with anxiety, heart hammering in his chest, the sound so loud he nearly misses Blaine telling him to enter. He opens the door with what he hopes is a seductive look and Blaine looks up from the book he’s reading and smiles, but his eyes quickly fall back on the pages in front of him.

“Give me just a minute, okay?”

“Um… Sure.” He fumbles with the trim of his pants, sitting near Blaine on the large bed and waiting to be acknowledged. After a couple minutes Blaine sets the book on the bedside table and smiles up at him again.

“Do you want to talk?”

“Um… Yes. I mean, no. I don’t want to talk. This is what I want to do.”

He moves forward to kiss his husband and he’s congratulating himself on his rehearsed line and movie-like move, but Blaine pulls back and he loses his balance, bumping their heads together.

“Ouch!” He rubs his forehead. “That wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.”

“You were going to kiss me.”

“I was trying to, yes. Don’t you want to?”

“Of course I do. I’m just worried you’re not ready for that.”

“I am! We’ve kissed before! I just… Want more.”

Blaine smiles and gently touches his face, bringing their lips together. Kurt opens his lips and Blaine deepens the kiss, his tongue sweeping through his teeth and sliding across Kurt’s own.

_Ew._

He tries not to rationalize the experience and forces himself to relax. A warm sensation starts at his stomach, spreading to his whole body, and he can feel his cock beginning to stir. He pulls back, taking a deep breath. Blaine seems to have caught up with the situation and is now kissing along his neck. Kurt giggles and pulls away.

“Sorry. Ticklish.”

He lays on his back and looks up into Blaine’s confused expression.

_Oh, for the love of god, just do it already!_

“Are you sure?”

Kurt sighs. Why did his husband have to question everything? He nods and pulls Blaine to him, letting him settle between his legs. The light pressure of another body on top of his is a weird feeling, and Blaine is supporting his weight on his elbows, although Kurt’s pretty sure he’s nowhere near heavy enough to hurt him. They kiss again and Kurt raises his hands to Blaine’s hair. Which feels sticky.

_That’s a lot of gel. Does he wear gel to sleep? Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him without gel. I wonder what his natural hair looks like. It must be really bad if he needs gel all the time. Maybe it’s like Hermione’s hair. Oh, I have to hide his gel and see what happens!_

Blaine stops and pulls back a bit, panting.

_Oh, right! Focus Kurt!_

“Is this all right?”

“Uh huh.”

_I wasn’t really feeling much, so I suppose it’s okay._

“Can I touch you… There?”

_Where? Oh!_

“You mean…”

“I want to touch your penis. Would you give me permission for that?”

_He’s way too formal!_

“I… I… I think so.”

“If you feel comfortable with the idea, I would like to stimulate you manually.”

“I… What?” _Who talks like this?_

“I would like…”

“I get it!” He sits up quickly, face flushing. “You know what? You were right. I’m not ready for that.

“I told you so.” Blaine sits next to him. “But it’s all right, you don’t need to feel guilty. I can take care of myself. After all, that’s why masturbation was invented.”

Kurt doesn’t know what feels more awkward, the situation itself or the things Blaine’s saying. He nods silently, pressing his lips together to avoid laughing out loud. He quickly excuses himself and runs back to his bedroom.

_Well, that was a waste of time!_

He didn’t solve anything with Blaine, he didn’t get any memories and, to top it all, now he’s hard and horny. He starts to reach down his boxers, but remembers Blaine’s sentence and laughter fills up the room. Maybe he’ll just take a cold shower.


	12. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters 1 and 6 have been updated with art!

# Chapter 11

 

He gets a call from Mercedes the next afternoon while he’s studying the material he’s brought from work. Excitement takes his mind over the prospect of chatting to his best friend again.

“Cedes!”

“Hello there, stranger. Are you still mad at me?”

“Mad at you? Should I be?”

“Come on, don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. And, for the record, I haven’t changed my mind about it and I won’t ever. What you’re doing is wrong and you know it.”

“I… What exactly am I doing?”

“Yeah, right, nice try. The cheating, Kurt! It’s wrong and you know it! And I still think you should tell Blaine right away and just move out of there already!”

He goes pale with the confirmation of his adultery. His palms are sweaty and he nearly drops the phone.

“You’ve been saying you’re going to divorce him for months, just do it already!” Mercedes’ voice goes on in his ear. “I’m pretty sure he won’t be nearly as devastated as you think he’ll be. And despite what you keep telling yourself, you don’t own him anything. I know he’s helped you in the beginning of your career, but you got where you are by your own merits, Kurt. It’s not fair that you feel obligated to stay with him because of that. Not fair for you or for him, or for David either. I’ve told you this before and you keep saying you’ll move out, but you never do. So, unless your call yesterday was to tell me you’ve finally taken some action, I’ll be pretty pissed.”

His breathing is shallow and quick and he struggles to take a deep breath and try to calm his racing heart. He’d always thought of adultery as a terribly mean situation and was always quick to judge those who cheated. He never thought he would be the one doing it. He used to think he was better than those people, above those kind of situations, that he was morally incapable of cheating. Oh, how wrong he’d been! When had he changed so much? And why? Was it simply a part of growing up and not seeing things so black and white anymore? Or had he been convinced otherwise by money and fame and comfort?

_Who am I?_

“Kurt? Are you still there?”

He licks his dried lips, sighing. “Yes. I am. I... Did nobody tell you about the accident?”

“What?” Mercedes immediately sounds alarmed. “What accident? What happened?”

“It’s all right now, but… I was in a car accident. And… I don’t remember anything. Well, nearly anything.”

There is silence on the other side of the line. “Kurt… Come on, it’s not funny.”

“I’m not joking. I have amnesia. The last thing I remember is being in high school.”

“High school?!” She screeches. “Are you fucking serious? You don’t remember anything?”

“No. I mean… I did get one memory yesterday, so I think it’s starting to come back, but other than that no, I don’t remember anything. I’ve been informed of a few things. My dad was here when I woke up and we talked a bit. Blaine’s helped me also. And… Well… I talked to Karofsky too. I thought he was lying. But now you’ve just confirmed everything and, to be honest, I may be even more confused.”

“Oh, honey. I’m sorry. I mean, how could I even begin to imagine that? It’s surreal!”

“It feels like that to me as well.”

“Can I help?”

“You already have. I wanted confirmation and you’ve just given me it; even if it wasn’t what I was expecting. I need to talk to Karofsky and sort this out. But… We can talk later, right?”

“Sure. Hey, do you even remember where Dave lives?”

_Oh, shit!_

“Erm… Do _you?_ ” Mercedes laughs, a sonorous sound that makes him smile and giggle and, sure enough, soon he’s laughing as well, unable and unwilling to stop. It feels stupid and childish to be laughing so hard over something that wasn’t even that funny, but it’s also invigorating.

_I guess I needed that._


	13. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s note: in case you haven’t read the summary, this story contains sex between men. If that’s not your cup of tea, I suggest you leave now.

# Chapter 12

 

He thanks the cab driver and gets out the car, shutting the door behind him. He looks at the house ahead, gulping with anticipation. It’s a medium-sized, two-story house, with a small front yard and a garage. The lawn is mowed and the house seems taken care of, but aside from that everything looks pretty simple. It looks very different from where he lives at the moment.

Steeling himself with courage, he walks up the driveway and stands by the front door, hand hovering over the doorbell. With another deep breath he pushes it and waits. His heart is pounding again and he’s pretty sure he doesn’t even need cardio exercises after all he’s been through lately. He steadies himself for the moment Karofsky (he really should start calling him David) opens the door, rehearsing in his mind what he’ll say like he’s been doing since he got in the cab.

_We need to talk. I know what you told me is true, but I can’t keep doing that. I’m not that person anymore. Whatever happened between us, it’s over. Goodbye._

He waits and waits, but nothing happens. He rings the doorbell again, but still nobody shows up.

_Great! I should have asked Mercedes to call him!_

He hadn’t wanted to call Karofsky himself because he wanted to talk to him face to face, to make sure he’d be understood, that this would be over forever. Otherwise Karofsky (David, he reminds himself) could claim that Blaine had made him do it or something equally crazy. And he knew if he called him, he’d end up blurting it out anyway. Not that he had his phone number, actually, but it was probably somewhere on his phone’s contact list. Which he hadn’t brought.

_Awesome. I’m officially an idiot._

He sits on the bench nearby. He doesn’t have a phone, so he has no way to call a cab, and he has no idea where he is. Might as well wait.

 

There’s a hand nudging his shoulder and a voice murmuring his name near his ear and he blinks awake. There are hazel eyes looking deep into his; eyes that he knows and loves, and he smiles.

“Dave…”

He jerks awake then. _What the hell did I just say?_

“I mean… Karofsky!” He quickly scrambles to his feet, and David pulls away, leaving some space between then.

“You fell asleep on my porch.”

“I… Right, yeah. I did.” He struggles to remember his rehearsed speech. “We need to talk.”

“Sure. But let’s go inside. I’m starving and I’ve got pizza. I’ll just put it in the oven and we can eat.”

“I’m not hungry”, he promptly replies, but his stomach grumbles and contradicts him. David grins and opens the door, motioning for Kurt to enter first.

 

**_Dave backs him against the wall, trailing sloppy kisses up his neck, hands gripping his hips. Kurt moans, tugging Dave’s shirt free from the hem of his jeans and running his hands underneath, fingers stroking the muscular and hairy chest. He unbuttons the shirt and pushes it down Dave’s shoulders and the larger man stops to look into his eyes, lust nearly palpable in the moist air between them. They don’t need words, both knowing each other well enough to know how to drive the other one crazy. The looks, the moans, the touches – they all communicate a lot more than what mere words could accomplish. The shirt falls to the ground and Dave pulls him closer again, large hands palming his ass and bringing their crotches closer. They move against each other roughly, the friction of their movements making both of them groan. Dave’s hands move to the hem of the T-shirt Kurt’s wearing and he quickly pulls it over his head, resuming the kisses and moving south to run down his chest. He leaves open-mouth kisses down his collarbone and licks his nipples and Kurt’s body arcs toward his mouth. He kneels down and caresses the sensitive skin of stomach and hips, kissing and licking while his hands unbutton his jeans and tug them down his slender hips along with his underwear. He wastes no time and engulfs Kurt’s hard cock with his mouth. Kurt whimpers at the feeling of the warm lips around him, the hot mouth encompassing him, the slick tongue playing around his cock. He rests his hands on Dave’s shoulders, gripping them hard when he starts bobbing his head rhythmically. He looks down to see Dave’s pink lips stretched around his cock, his right hand fondling his balls and his left hand palming his own trousers. He tugs on Dave’s hair, urging him to stop, but he takes that as an incentive and starts going faster. Kurt pushes his shoulders lightly._ **

**_“Stop. Stop, Dave, stop.” His own voice sounds raspy in his ears._ **

**_Dave pulls back, looking at him with questioning eyes, but Kurt only kneels in front of him, capturing his mouth with his own in a long wet kiss. He pushes Dave sideways until he’s forced to lie down on the wooden floor. His own cock is pulsing and leaking and hurting from being neglected, but he ignores that and does quick work of pulling Dave’s pants down, exposing the muscular thighs and the black boxers strained with his large erection filling it. He inhales the manly scent and breaths warmly against it, mouthing Dave through the thin fabric. Dave gasps and groans, pushing forward. Kurt pulls back slightly to kiss his abdomen while palming his cock and rubbing his hand hard against it. Dave bucks and curses, mumbling a stream of swear-words and Kurt grins wickedly. He pulls the boxers down, mouth watering at the sight of the large thick cock in front of him, darkened and leaking pre-cum. He swipes his tongue over the head, the all familiar taste making both of them groan, and captures him in his mouth._ **

**_“Kurt…” He raises his eyes to look at his lover, though his mouth doesn’t leave him. “I was doing that, you know.” Dave smirks, eyes glazed with lust, and Kurt’s eyes twinkle with mischief. He lets go of Dave’s cock with a loud popping sound and crawls up until their eye to eye._ **

**_“Glad to see you’ve caught on with the program.” Before Dave can react, he turns around on his lap, each of his knees on one side of Dave’s head, his ass up in the air and his cock hanging down and touching Dave’s face.  The awkward angle reminds him why they don’t do this so often, but Dave is already resuming from where he had stopped before and sucking him hard, so he hardly has any time to dwell on that. He rests his palms on the ground between Dave’s raised knees and takes him into his mouth, imitating the actions the best way he can. Dave feels hot and hard in his mouth, as well as wet and tight around his cock and the double stimulation makes his body shiver. They keep sucking each other for a couple minutes and Kurt is now trembling so hard he’s sure he’s going to crumble down at any second. He feels his climax approaching and sucks harder on Dave’s cock, feeling his erection pulse in his mouth. Dave’s hand goes up Kurt’s ass and he presses a finger to his hole and that’s it, he comes undone, everything turns white, then black, then a billion stars cloud his vision and he lets out a long moan while shooting his cum into Dave’s mouth. He feels Dave swallowing around him and whimpers. His mouth lets go of Dave’s cock and he balances himself with one trembling hand, the other gripping the still erect cock. He’s shaking so hard he’s sure he won’t be able to stay that way long enough, but a few strokes in and Dave’s coming with a howl, his load covering Kurt’s mouth, nose and cheeks. Kurt gives him one last long lick and falls sideways, his legs tangled in Dave’s arms. He hears Dave chuckle while he struggles to get up. His body hovers over Kurt’s and he licks his own cum from Kurt’s face, nibbling at the swollen lips. He nuzzles Kurt’s nose with his own and they both grin._ **

**_“So… shower?”_ **

****

“Kurt? Kurt, are you all right?”

He realizes he’s standing on the same spot, eyes wide and breath shallow. He’s sure he’s gone pale, though now he feels warmth go up his whole body and he predicts he’s turning the color of beetroot.

“Kurt? Do you want to sit down?”

Dave touches his hand to pull him forward and he pulls it back quickly, the light touch burning him. He struggles to remember his speech, but his thoughts seem to be going a thousand miles per minute. Dave closes the door behind them and leaves his groceries on the center table. He then takes Kurt’s hands carefully and brings him to sit down at the sofa. Kurt offers no resistance this time, the events he’s just remembered making him both embarrassed and aroused, as well as more confused than ever. Dave sits down next to him and waits in silence for him to calm down.

“We need to talk.”

Dave smiles slightly. “You said that already.”

“Right.” He licks his lips as his recent recollections refuse to leave him, the sounds and tastes overlapping in his mind. His eyes drop to Dave’s lips and linger there, fueled by the images that keep going through his head. He lunges forward and presses his lips against David’s, his arms encircling his neck and bringing him closer. He feels strong arms around his waist, holding him. He tentatively swipes his tongue over Dave’s lips and he immediately lets his lips part, tongue darting out to tangle around Kurt’s, mouths pressed firmly against one another, teeth clashing and tongues battling, lungs fighting for air and chests burning with desire. Dave pulls him to his lap and Kurt straddles him, their cocks pressing against each other and making them whimper. Dave pulls back and nibbles at Kurt’s earlobe, making him gasp.

_This is not why I came here! I have to stop him! Oh, god, but it’s so good. Damn it, what am I doing?_

He pushes Dave back, but doesn’t alter their position otherwise. “Stop.” Dave halts immediately, startled.

“Shit! I’m sorry, Kurt. I know you don’t remember, but you started it and…”

“It’s okay.” Kurt sighs. “I remember.”

Dave’s eyes shine with unspoken hope. “You do?”

“Yeah, well… Not everything, but… Enough.” He’s flustered and Dave smirks, understanding what he hasn’t said out loud. “When I walked through the door, I remembered… us… You know.” He looks down and Dave chuckles. “Besides, I talked to Mercedes and she confirmed everything so, yes, I know you were telling the truth. But I didn’t come here to make out with you.”

“Are you sure?” Dave teases, kissing at the place where his neck meets his shoulder and earning a shiver from Kurt. “Sure seemed that way.” He keeps kissing up his neck and Kurt can’t find it in himself to stop him. Why can’t he feel that way with Blaine, who is his legitimate husband? With him he had only felt awkward and grossed out. It was cold and weird and there hadn’t been any of the fireworks Kurt had been expecting. And now with Dave… A single kiss was like the Fourth of July and it made him warm and horny. He thrusts his hips forward, his cock already hard in his jeans pressing against David’s crotch.

Dave’s hands caress his ass and squeeze it and he’s not sure why that feels so good, but it does and he moans, pressing forward again. Dave grabs his hips and moves him back a little, only to bring him forward in a circular motion, the touch of their crotches burning him. He moves by himself this time, and Dave meets his thrust downward with an upward movement, causing even more friction. He does it again and again, unable and unwilling to stop. His body begs him for contact and he’s beyond words or reason. The only thing driving him is his need for friction, for heat, for passion and pleasure. He runs his hands through Dave’s chest, fumbling with the buttons on the shirt until he gives up and just yanks it over his head. It gets caught in the wrists and he pulls on it, sending the buttons flying. He kisses Dave’s lips again, pulling at his hair and smashing their mouths together. His hand runs down the large chest, stopping to play with his nipples. Dave’s hands move to his thighs and to the front of his jeans and he palms his erection. Kurt presses against it with a deep groan, moving so fast his knees have sunk deep into the sofa. He bites Dave’s lower lip and he shudders, coming with a low groan into Kurt’s mouth. He moves his hand faster and soon it’s Kurt’s turn to reach his orgasm, moaning Dave’s name. He relishes in the feeling of warmth and languidness that takes over his body, smiling. His pants feel sticky and he’s sweating profusely, but he doesn’t care. Here, with David, is where for the first time since he woke up from his coma, he feels at home.

 


	14. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings: barebacking, rimming, voyeurism, threesome (it’s probably not what you’re thinking though)

# Chapter 13

****

He’s sitting on the couch, his legs on David’s lap and a glass of red wine resting between his fingers. He takes a sip, smiling. David’s smiling too, gently running his fingers through Kurt’s hair. Kurt sighs and closes his eyes, enjoying the sweet caress. The combination of his full stomach and wine is making him sleepy, and the fact that he got off immediately prior doesn’t help. Not to mention the stress of discovering the truth through Mercedes and worrying about it all day. He still believes the decision he made was right, but he now understands a bit better why he felt like he couldn’t choose before. He knows, however, that he can’t go on living like that, spending his days with a man he cares about, but doesn’t love, and dreaming about being with another. It isn’t fair; neither to David nor to Blaine and especially not to himself.

“I should go,” he half whispers, half moans as he swings his feet to the ground and settles the glass on the coffee table. Dave grabs him from behind and pushes his back against his chest, nuzzling his nose against Kurt’s neck and making him laugh.

“Dave, really…”

“You don’t have to.” He kisses Kurt’s neck and rests his chin on this shoulder. Kurt untangles himself from the strong arms and turns to face him.

“I do, actually.” Dave pouts and Kurt thinks he’d be annoyed if the sight wasn’t so endearing. He gives him a quick peck and stands up, but Dave holds his hand and looks at him pleadingly. “I love you,” he repeats, and this time Kurt believes it. More than that, he knows it from the bottom of his heart. “I love you too,” he whispers, looking right into the amber eyes that look back at him with such adoration. “The ‘how’ is still a bit fuzzy to me. I don’t remember much, but… The way you look at me – like you’re glad to do just that, like my mere existence is enough to make you happy – it makes my heart swell with tenderness. I don’t know much about my life right now, but I’m certain of this feeling. I love you. Enough to remember.”

 

He got home to find out Blaine had already gone to bed. Andrea offered to make him dinner, but he declined it. He took a long, warm shower and put on clean pajamas, before nestling between the covers. He now lies awake in the dark room, contemplating the difficult conversation he has ahead of him tomorrow. He knows he has to come clean to Blaine and end it all, but he’s fully aware that it won’t be easy. He hates that he got himself into this mess and that he’ll hurt people, has hurt them already, but he promises himself he’ll make amends and try to do the best he can. He knows the best thing to do usually isn’t the easiest. Despite everything, he feels happy, light-hearted. He drifts off slowly, new memories and old memories intertwining in his head.

 

**_He wakes up to the feeling of lips brushing softly against his and a hand caressing his neck. The lips move to his earlobe and a deep voice whispers his name in his ear. He opens his eyes slowly, blinking slightly, though there’s only a dim light coming through the thick curtains, and smiles when he sees Dave’s face grinning down at him. Until he realizes where he is. He sits up quickly, eyes gone wide, but before he has any chance of asking Dave what he’s doing in his house, the larger man brings a finger to his lips, giving him the signal to be quiet, then points to the space beside Kurt on the bed. Kurt turns around to see Blaine sleeping on his side and suppresses a squeal. When did Blaine come to his bed? Or did he go to Blaine’s bed? He turns back to David, determined to send him away and ask him what the hell was he thinking coming into his bedroom (or Blaine’s bedroom?) in the middle of the night, but is silenced again, this time by Dave’s mouth capturing his. He probes his lips with his tongue asking for entrance and Kurt parts his, moaning slightly when their tongues touch. Dave’s tongue explores his mouth with expertise, gliding over teeth and lips and tongue, his body pushing Kurt’s smaller frame back into the bed. He pulls back, capturing Kurt’s lower lip between his own, then goes back for a short deep kiss. He then kisses down Kurt’s neck, sucking on his Adam’s apple. His lips run up the side of Kurt’s neck and he nips at the sensitive flesh. Kurt rolls his head to the other side, giving him more access, but he sees Blaine still in a deep sleep right next to him and freezes. What on Earth are they doing? Blaine could wake up at any minute! He can’t bring himself to care, though, because Dave’s hands are gripping on his hips and he moans audibly. Dave stops and pulls back, sitting on the bed and again gesturing for him to be quiet, then winking and giving him a wicked grin. Bastard! Doesn’t he know he’s trying? It’s his own fault for teasing him like this while Blaine is right there next to him! Still silent, Dave signals for him to roll over. Kurt’s heart is thumping so loud in his chest he’s sure the mere sound of it will be enough to wake up Blaine. The desire in Dave’s eyes, however, is enough to make him ache with need and he obeys, trembling slightly with a combination of excitement, fear and anticipation. Despite the fact that he’s cheating, technically there are two hot men in bed with him (even if one is sleeping), and the sheer thought is making him harder by the second. The fear of Blaine waking up and the risk of being caught, instead of making him stop, are driving him forward. And so what if he wakes up? At least then Kurt won’t have to tell him and it’ll all be over. He feels Dave parting his naked thighs (and when did he lose his pajamas?) and running a long finger between his cheeks and presses back, eager. He’s surprised by the wetness of Dave’s tongue running over his crack and groans, burying his head on the pillow to muffle the noise. Dave’s hands part his cheeks even more and he repeats the action, flickering the tip of his tongue over Kurt’s hole repeatedly, until he’s got the smaller man squirming. Kurt feels Dave’s wet finger slip inside him, pushing forward with unexpected ease, then pulling back and pushing inside again, brushing against his prostate enough to make him bite his lower lip. Dave inserts a second finger easily and Kurt briefly wonders where did he even find lube, but his thoughts are clouded when expert fingers brush against his prostate again, adding more pressure this time. Dave keeps finger fucking him and Kurt clams his mouth with his own hand to keep from being too loud. It doesn’t help much when Dave pulls his fingers out of him and grabs his ass firmly, squeezing it, right before rubbing the tip of his erection against his hole._ **

**_“Stop. Teasing.” Kurt manages to get out between gritted teeth. Dave obeys him, plunging into him in one single motion until he’s balls deep inside. He doesn’t move any more than that, though, and Kurt squirms again, willing him to just move already!_ **

****

**_Dave puts his hands on Kurt’s neck and lower back, adding just enough pressure to hold him in place and not hurt him. He pulls back before pounding back into Kurt, hard and deep and Kurt moans and groans, all care for silence abandoned. He chances a glance at Blaine and isn’t surprised to see brown eyes staring back at him. Blaine’s eyes are wide and his breathing is ragged and Kurt looks down to see him touch himself, hand flying around his own dick in time with Dave’s thrusts into Kurt. He reaches out his other hand and Kurt nods, breathless, the moans escaping his lips getting progressively louder. Blaine reaches under his body and grabs Kurt’s cock, and Dave pauses and pulls Kurt’s ass up, allowing Blaine space to pump him. He feels a mouth kissing his neck, then another one kissing the other side of his neck and surrenders to the feeling of mouths and hands provoking him. His body is trembling more than ever and his vision clouds before everything turns white and he lets out a deep howl and collapses onto the mattress._ **

****

He wakes up with a jolt, sitting up on the bed. His body feels sticky with sweat and cum and his heart is racing, his breathing shallow. His body is still trembling with the aftermath as he takes in the dream he’s just had. He’s not sure whether to call it a dream or a nightmare, but he knows one thing: it was very disturbing.


	15. Chapter 14

# Chapter 14

 

“Hey! I didn’t see you last night! Where were you?”

The question is asked as soon as Kurt enters the kitchen and he freezes. Now is his moment. Now is the time to confess everything, to admit he’s been having an affair for quite a while, that he loves another man, that he wants a divorce. Blaine is looking at him expectantly, a slight smile on his face and an amused expression when Kurt takes a lot longer than expected to answer.

“Kurt?”

_Just say it, damn it!_

“Are you still asleep?”

“I… Yes.” So, he’s a coward. He takes a deep breath and tells himself he’ll confess. He’ll tell Blaine everything and get it over with… As soon as he’s had a cup of coffee.

He thankfully takes the large mug Andrea offers him before slipping away, downing several gulps in one go. Blaine’s still eyeing him, though, and without an ounce of suspicion. Only curiosity and amusement are visible upon his features. Kurt doesn’t know whether he’s pretending not to be affected or whether he’s truly clueless.

_Probably clueless. He’s not a very good actor._

“So… Where did you go?”

_Here it goes._

He takes a deep breath and steadies himself.  “I was with David.”

Blaine freezes, a spoonful of cereal in midair. He blinks a couple times, then resumes eating normally. “What David?”

“Karofsky. Your manager.”

Blaine flips through the tablet next to him, his attention focused on it for a moment. “Did you see that Lisa Gordon suffered an accident on set yesterday?”

Kurt blinks, taken aback by the sudden change of subject. “What?”

“She was taken to the hospital and everything. She’s ok, though, nothing major.”

It feels anticlimactic to have prepared to announce something so important, be ready for a big fight, expecting to be told what a horrible person he is, just for it to be brushed aside so simply. It’s odd, though, how fast Blaine changed the topic of their conversation.

_Oh my god, he knows!_

“You know.”

Blaine looks up at him. “Know what?”

_Looks like he’s a better actor than I had thought._

“You do know.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Oh, look, Josh Stewart has a new album coming out.”

“I am having an affair!” He says it louder than he had intended, but he doesn’t regret it. He feels like he needs to be heard, to have his feelings accounted for. He feels dirty, immoral, for having done such a thing, for betraying Blaine’s trust. He’s angry with himself for cheating, as much as he’s angry he even married Blaine, let himself be deluded by friendship and kindness and bright lights of the camera flashes. He needs to let it all out.

Blaine takes a deep breath, sighing deeply. “So you were faking the amnesia.”

“I… What? _No._ You really did know, didn’t you?”

“I hoped… With your amnesia, I was hoping everything would go back to the way it was before. I thought you would love me again and you would never even know that you once cheated on me. I thought we could be happy again.”

“You _wanted_ me to never remember? And you say you love me? And what kind of happiness is that?”

Blaine is looking at him with hard eyes, anger reflected on them.

“Don’t you dare turn this on me! This is _your_ fault, _you_ are the adulterer here!”

Kurt’s voice trembles when he agrees. “Yes, you’re right. You’re the poor little victim who’s never done anything wrong, right? Fine, then, you can have that.” He stands up abruptly.

“Where are you going?”

“To pack my stuff.”

“You’re leaving me?!”

“Of course I am! You wanted me to stay after all this?”

“You’re so ungrateful! I gave you everything! A perfect life in a perfect house and a job you love, and this is how you repay me?”

_Perfect for whom?_

“This life isn’t perfect; hasn’t ever been. Not for me.” His voice is surprisingly calm and low when he answers, offsetting his inner turmoil. “You may have given me things, things that I once thought were important, but that has never given you the right to own me. I’m not your property to do as you please with, and to be treated like I don’t matter or like I’m inferior. Besides, those things – money, comfort, fame, recognition – they were never important. I don’t know why I once believed they were, but I can see clearly now and I won’t be blinded again. I’m sorry, Blaine, I really am. I’m sorry I ever married you and made you believe that I loved you. Maybe I once did, I can’t remember that much yet, but I definitely don’t feel that way right now. This life, the life we were living, may have been perfect on the outside, but it was rotting from the inside and was bound to collapse at some moment. Now’s that moment. You can think I’m a jerk, I probably feel the same, but I’m getting the reigns of my life back and I’m determined to be happy!”


	16. Epilogue

# Epilogue

 

He hadn’t been joking when he had said to Blaine that he was determined to be happy – he was making the most of his life. From what he could see, he had nearly lost his life twice. Once, with the accident, when he could easily have died. Twice, with the amnesia, that nearly cost him all his precious memories. He is better now, months after the accident, his memory pretty much restored (as much as it could be, it was impossible for him to remember _everything_ ). And if there was one lesson to be learned from all that had happened, was to seize the day, cherish what you have and have people you love around you.

He smiles as he picks up the box with the rings from where he hid it, inside one of the boots he didn’t wear that often, which in turn was inside one of the many boxes around the guest room (he should just get it over with and turn it into his closet). Dave and he had talked about getting a bigger place, but they hadn’t gotten around to doing it yet, both being extremely busy with work. Not that Kurt was going to complain, though – it makes him happy that despite the scandal that his separation was, it hasn’t affected his job whatsoever. He knows that being Blaine’s husband did open some doors for him, and he’ll be forever grateful, but it was his own talent and sweat that kept him going. It does leave little time for anything else, really. Plus, Kurt would much rather allocate what little free time he did have to spend with his boyfriend… Partner… Soon to be fiancé… Basically, the love of his life.

He puts the box in his pocket and goes back to the dining room, where Dave’s finishing the risotto Kurt made for dinner, which had appropriately been washed down with copious amounts of champagne to celebrate his divorce being final. He goes in just as Dave is getting the white chocolate mousse they’re having for dessert from the fridge. He grins and Dave grins back at him. He can’t remember ever feeling so happy – and for once he’s totally fine with not remembering something.

He sits down while Dave serves them, still grinning, and the taller man eyes him suspiciously.

“What?”

Kurt shakes his head. “Nothing.  Just… Do you remember that time when we took some strawberries and chocolate sauce to bed with us?”

Dave bursts into laughter and Kurt joins him. “Of course I do! That was… Well, we tried.”

“It was such a mess!”

“Yeah… Well, it was good, just… Maybe not for us.”

Kurt is still chuckling. “What about that time when you tried to bake me a birthday cake and nearly set the kitchen on fire?”

“Hey, that wasn’t my fault! There was something very wrong with that oven!”

“Oh, and remember that other time when we somehow thought it would be a good idea to have a picnic in the park because it was a very sunny day, except it was freezing cold outside! We were sitting in the grass and none of us was saying anything because we were both too stubborn to admit it had been an awful idea, until I started rattling my teeth and we just gave up and went home. We ended up having a picnic in our living room.”

Dave is looking at him with tenderness in his eyes and a small smile on his lips. “What’s with the trip down memory lane? I get it! You got over your amnesia!” He’s still smiling, not half as annoyed as he sounds.

“It’s just… I’m really glad I have those memories back. I love them, every single one of them. I love _you_.”

“I love you too.”

Kurt nods and stands up, circling the table to stand next to David. “I know… And I want us to make a million other precious memories like those. Which is why…”

He gets down on one knee and pulls the ring box from his pocket, pulling it open. Dave’s eyes widen and his jaw drops.

“David Karofsky… Will you marry me?”

Dave gasps, unable to form a reply, then suddenly he’s crying, tears glistering in his eyes.

“Damn you for always making me cry!”

Kurt winces. “I didn’t think you’d get so upset over a proposal,” he jokes.

Dave chuckles, laughing and crying at the same time. “I love you _so much_.” He tenderly holds Kurt’s face between his trembling fingers and kisses him softly. “Of course I’ll marry you. You didn’t even have to ask.” They exchange rings, unable to stop smiling. Then Dave’s lips are on his again and Kurt decides that the whole world can wait. This is the man he loves, the man he’ll always love. Destiny was bound to bring them together. Space couldn’t separate them, time couldn’t separate them, not even amnesia could separate them, and he’s sure nothing ever will.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a playlist made for this story. I suggest taking a look at it, it's great! http://ktfranceebee.livejournal.com/15642.html


End file.
